Madcap Monday

Well Hey there! Did Any of You miss me? The ole computer blew an gasket (harddrive died) Thursday morning and I had to take it to the computer shop. I paid $70 for an new hard drive and $50 just for them to tell me what the problem was. It is the 2nd week of the month and im officially broke already. Oh well! I have decided to buy an dvd player for my computer for my birthday present to myself in July. I ran around all day today- chiropracter, computer store, and then walked to Dollar General. Why waste the gas especially since its so high ya know? I had to reinstall all my programs so I can officially put off buying an $98 copy of Windows Vista. Thats my day in an nutshell. I went to an church picnic yesterday and watched softball too. latas!

Undergraduate

One day, a very attractive under graduate visited the professor’s office. The under graduate pulled the chair closer to the professor, smiled at him shyly, bumped his knee “accidentally”, etc.

Finally, the undergraduate said, “Professor, I really need to pass your course. It is extremely important to me. It is so important that I’ll do anything you suggest.”

The professor, somewhat taken aback by this attention, replied, “Anything?”

To which the undergradute cooed, “Yes, anything you say.”

After some brief reflection, the professor asked, “What are you doing tomorrow afternoon at 3:30?”

The student lied, “Oh, nothing at all, sir. I can be free then.”

The professor then advised, “Excellent! Professor Palmer is holding a help session for his students. Why don’t you attend that.”

Sauna Weds

I walked Penny this afternoon. I stopped by and talked to Janice als0- unfortunately she knew all about my juicy new gossip because the place has been vacant 2 months ago. I found some lil kittens with their mom in my shrubs outside my kitchen window this afternoon. Feels like an sauna back here – must turn on the a/c this weekend or Monday. Chatted with my friend Cathy this evening and listened to her whine because her wife left today to go on vacation.It was cute to hear the love My mom and dad also paid off my credit card that had an $1500 limit on it so i could car insurance and dad can stop paying for it. Nothing else is going on so far! See ya tommorrow!!!

It’s Simple

The truth is that if you take a little time to learn a few basic principles and some of the technical lingo, buying the right computer and getting it to work properly is no more complicated than building a nuclear reactor from wristwatch parts in a darkened room using only your teeth. So let’s get started!

Sunny Tuesday

 I am sitting here writing this with an fan blowing in my face. That way I wont sweat buckets like I did last night without one. My only bitch is that the damn thing keeps blowing my hair in my face. The humidity is what kills you in Kansas not the actual heat. I went shopping today! I went to Barnes and Noble to check and read computer magazines to see if there is anything close to my invention– there IS NOT! After that, I went to an store called Accessory City and bought 2 cute necklace/earring setsand some bracelets for an steal of $25!!! Woo Hoo!! I had fun and saw a couple of other ladies in there by themselves. It was an GOOD TIME!!

The Devil You Say

The Devil tells a salesman, “Look, I can make you richer, more famous, and more successful than any salesman alive. In fact, I can make you the greatest salesman that ever lived.”

“Well,” says the salesman, “what do I have to do in return?”

The Devil smiles, “Well, of course you have to give me your soul,” he says, “but you also have to give me the souls of your children, the souls of your children’s children and, as a matter of fact, you have to give me the souls of all your descendants throughout eternity.”

“Wait a minute,” the salesman says cautiously, “What’s the catch?”

Quiet! It’s Monday

Hi! I had an good weekend. I went and watched both of my church softball teams play one another yesterday. I was armed with my Pringles and Gatorade. I got a lil sunburned on my left knee. I think that i can take maybne another week without the a/c on. Not sure, will see. I finished reading my Glamour and got all my laundry done Friday night. Today everybody is being quiet. I dont know if they are mad that they have to work 5 days again or what it is. I just realized that this month is the 6th month I have been on HRT and when i look in the mirror I really see the breasts starting to develop. It was so slow for so long. Thats it for today! Love you all!!!!

Recent Quips from Late Night

“Hey, congratulations to David Cook, the American Idol. … I believe he received an unbelievable 50 million votes … which I think is a new record. … In fact, he got so many votes, Hillary offered him the VP spot.” –Jay Leno

“McCain, of course, has the nomination sewn up. He’s just got to go to the convention. So he’s now auditioning candidates for vice president. And they’re visiting at his home in Arizona. They will be spending the weekend with him out there at his home in Arizona. I believe it is called Casa Viagra. Wait a minute, I believe it’s called the Lazy Artery. I believe it’s a ranch. I think it is the Double Hernia. No, no, his home in Arizona, the Rancho Prostateo.” –David Letterman

“Big political news this weekend. John McCain invited Louisiana’s governor, Florida’s governor and Mitt Romney to a barbecue at his home in Arizona, because he wants to choose one of them to be his running mate. McCain says he got the idea of choosing a running mate this way by watching ‘Flavor of Love.’ He’s gonna hand them a rose at the end of the night.” –Conan O’Brien

“Yesterday, a group of oil company executives testified before Congress. Oil company executives talking to politicians. I believe they set a record for the most number of lies ever told in one room.” –Jay Leno

“Dick Cheney gave a commencement address at the Coast Guard Academy. He really enjoyed speaking to the graduates, but his favorite part of the ceremony was water-boarding the valedictorian.” –David Letterman

“Barack Obama was endorsed by 90-year-old Senator Robert Byrd. 90 years old, yeah. Byrd said, ‘Obama will make a great president, and if he doesn’t, I won’t be around anyway.’” –Conan O’Brien