Spring Weds

Took an walk with Penny. It was an beautiful day because it was 80 degrees out. That guy from the internet has left me alone for an couple of days. I like him but he is so young. He is 25 and im going be 38 in 2 months. He always wants give me an massage and it bothers me that he always wants to come over. I have never met him face to face. I am leery of him.One part is the fact that i’m leery of being hurt again like last time. What to do? Thats it for now..

Never underestimate a woman!!!

A woman went to her doctor. The doctor, after an
examination, sighed and said, “I’ve some bad news.
You have cancer, and you’d best put your affairs in
order.”

The woman was shocked, but managed to compose
herself and walk into the waiting room where her
daughter had been waiting.

“Well daughter, we women celebrate when
things are good, and we celebrate when things don’t
go so well.

In this case, things aren’t well. I have cancer.
Let’s head to the club and have a martini.”

After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a
little less somber. There were some laughs and more
martinis. They were eventually approached by some of
the woman’s old friends, who were curious as to what
the two were celebrating.

The woman told her friends they were drinking to
her impending end. !

“I’ve been diagnosed with AIDS.” The friends
were aghast and gave the woman their condolences.

After the friends left, the woman’s daughter leaned
over and whispered, Mum, I thought you said you were
dying of cancer, and you just told your friends you
were dying of AIDS.”

The woman said, “I don’t want any of those bitches
sleeping with your father after I’m gone.”

That’s putting Your Affairs in Order…….

Bubble Bath Tuesday

Well all- I stressed about the dentist all night long and guess what. It was an piece of cake I think that I was there an total of 30 minutes the whole time including paying the bill and all. I was THRILLED to get out of there. There was this lil girl and she was absolutely terrified about everything. Olivia was her name i do believe. She was screaming and carrying on, etc. Thought that something was an needle. Poor gal!! She gave me an headache. I felt sorry for the father. I tried to stop by my friend Janice S’s house but she wasn’t home. I came home and cut the grass. Swept the yard too. Well see ya weds huh?

Curious Boy

One day a boy asks his father dad what is the difference between a pussy and a cunt and the father says well son let me show you something the father takes his boy upstairs to his mother who is sleeping and pulls the sheets down and says to the boy that thing between your mothers legs that is a pussy he said ohhh can i touch it he said no son you must not wake up the cunt

Monday Enuff Said

hi! Yes I took Friday off- so sue me!! Hahahhaha!!! Was an enlightening day for me. I had 3 people say that they actually missed me at the shop. These 2 girls(dancers) saw my car and had to come in and say hello to me just because I was working that day. Made the cockles of my heart warm I tell ya Anyways the weekend was the weekend. I dont even remember what the heck i did on Saturday. Sunday , I pruned the shrubs in the driveway. Today brought more housework- washing the dishes, mopping the floors, changing out the litterbox, etc. All the fun things in life! See ya tommorrow huh?

Desperate Hobo

A homeless person (known as a hobo) was extremely desperate for sex. He had no friends whatsoever and knew nobody. He only had $2 on him.

One fine day he decided to go to a “Whore House” where he could buy a whore and fuck the shit out of her. When he arrived at the Whore House, he asked the man working there, “excuse me, I am a hobo and I am desperately looking for sex. May I please buy one of your whores for an hour?” The man working there replies, “sure what type? blonde or brunette?” The hobo says “Whichever is the cheapest.” That will be $100 sir. The hobo was sad and said sorry I only have $2. The man working there says sorry man… to cheap. The hobo was really sad. Then the man working there says ok man… you can fuck one of my whores for $2 if you walk down the south corrider, open the first door to your right, switch off the light and wear a black condom. The hobo was like RIGHT ON… handed over the $2 and followed the mans instructions.

After an hour the hobo comes out and says… dude thank you so much… that was fucking great sex i have ever had! the man says no problem man anytime… the hobo then asked… dude why did i have to switch off the light? and why the fuck did i have to wear a black fucking condom? the man working there says…. DUDE… YOU GOTTA SHOW SOME RESPECT FOR THE DEAD!!!

Overcast Thursday

I am talking about the weather but might as well be also talking about all the friends I have that are quitting yahoo 360. No blame to put on them- I am very saddened and dismayed that Yahoo doesnt give an rats ass about the members of the 360 community. I realize they are are fighting off being acquiried by Microsoft but COME ON!!! They could have left the community alone and format too and fixed the bugs and made it sucessful but NO… Penny and I took an walk around by the river today. She was intrigued by the geese. I must of worn her out because 1/4 way home she started to fakelimp. I slowed down and let her go at her own pace. See ya Friday!

Heaven’s Ugliest

Three men were waiting at Heaven’s Gate. St. Peter says, “Okay, guys, pretty much anything goes up here, but whatever you do, never lie, or you will spend the rest of eternity with the ugliest women in the universe.”

So they all agree and are admitted in. The first guy makes it a week before he lies about how rich he was on Earth. Bam! Right at his side appears the ugliest woman he had ever seen.

The second guy makes it another couple weeks before he lies about how smart he is. Bam! At his side appears the second ugliest woman in the universe.

So the first two guys are walking around with their monsters of women when they see their third friend walking with the hottest woman ever conceived by man. The first two guys say in unison, “How did you end with that babe when we get stuck with these nasty women?”

He nudges the babe and says, “Tell them.”

She says to the first two guys, “I lied.”

Wet Weds

HI! It has been raining all day today. I decided to watch my movie “Normal” and i liked it. The sucky thing was there was about 30 minutes i didnt see because the disc was fucked up. That was VERY disappointing. My good friend Jenny called me and we talked for an hour and we laughed a lot about her valley girl impersonation that she does for her job. I watched an new episode of Law and Order tonight also. For shit and grins , I threw Missy in the washing machine and she freaked because she couldnt get out. Anyways my lil joke backfired on me when Molly took it upon herself to slash the back of my leg with her claw that went through my jeans. She didnt rip my jeans but got my leg. I wont do that anymore!!

Too Many Kids

One day, three men rushed their wives into the Emergency Room for labor. After a while, the doctor came out and said, “Mr. Smith, Mr. Smith, are you here?”

“Yes doctor, im right here,” he said anxiously.

“Great news,” explained the doctor, “Twins!”

“Wow, thats great, because I work for the DoubleMint company.”

About five minuter later, the doctor came out and yelled, “Mr. Jones, Mr. Jones, are you hear?”

“I’m right here Doc,” he said.

“Mr. Jones, great news, triplets!”

“Spectacular!” he said. “Because I work for 3M.”

A while later, the doctor came out again and said, “Mr. Ford, Mr. Ford, are you here?”

“Right here docta,” he said.

“Wonderful news! It’s-”

“Wait a minute!” the man said. “I ain’t stickin’ around for this! I work at the 7-11.”

Earth Day 2008

Hi gang! How are u? I didnt do anything about Earth Day. I planted no trees or bushes. I had my neighbor from across the street talk to me after I woke up. He told me that some guy at 7 am had taken my lawnmower out of my garage and walking down the street with him. My neighbor confronted him and essentially got my lawnmower back for me. I bought him an thank you card later in the day for his help. His daughter also was the one that told her mom about my first dog being found dead by my street. They really have looked out for me. Not everybody is bad in the world. I put the lawnmower in the shed out back where it is locked now. What an world we live in huh? Stayed up till about 3 am last night reading wrestling bios. Not much else to tell. See ya later…

Three Guys in Heaven

Three guys die and end up at the gates of heaven, talking to St. Peter.

“So,” Peter asks the first guy, “how many times did you cheat on your wife?”

“None. I had a perfect marriage.”

“Great,” says Peter. “You get to cruise around heaven in a Mercedes. And you, how many times did you cheat on your wife?”

“Only twice, I think,” says the second guy.

“Okay. You get to cruise around heaven in a Cadillac. And you, how many times did you cheat on your wife?”

“12 times. Maybe 13,” says the third guy.

“Okay,” says Peter. “You get a rusty Ford.”

Later that day, the guy in the Cadillac sees the guy in the Mercedes crying.

“What’s wrong?”

“I just saw my wife and she was riding a skateboard!”

Busy Bee Monday

I have been busy as an bee today. I slept till 11 am and then had get ready to go chiropracter and eat lunch. Meanwhile- Dad was leaving me messages on my machine telling me what their plans were. My brother spent the weekend with them. I went to chiropracter at 2 and got home at 2 45 and decided that it probably would look good if the grass was freshly mowed when they arrived. i did that and got all dirty and had to clean up by taking an shower. I laid down and rested and got about 45 minutes in i think. Dad and Mom arrived at 6 pm and we chatted till 6 30 and then ate dinner at Braums and they left at 7 pm . I then did some computer work and ferget that wrestling was anb 3 hour event tonight so i was kind of lost because it was in the middle. Over the weekend- Sunday; i decided to go visit Christy and we chatted for 2 hours. I took her to and from McDonalds . Saturday – I slept till almost 2 pm. That was before i had 2 latino men in suits wake me up at 10 30 in the morning asking me if there were any spanishspeaking people in the area. I was halfasleep and told them there was an Mexican family 5 houses down. Thats the breakdown …

Retiring

Of course, some people never retire…

Old golfers never retire, they just lose their drive.

Old lumberjacks never retire, they just pine away.

Accountants don’t retire, they just lose their balance.

And bank managers don’t retire, they just lose interest.

But what about vehicle mechanics? They re-tire every day!

 

Friday Ole Windy Friday

I am going to share with you an poem that I wrote a couple months ago. Hope you like it!

Jesus My Savior

blood

sweat

tears

crown of thorns

why did u have to die?

sadness from your father

saving your neighbor on the next cross

thank you for my life

——————————————————

Black Spots

“Doctor, doctor, I see black spots!” Billy exclaimed.

The doctor puts some drops in Billy’s eyes. “How about now?” he asked.

“Now I see the spots better,” he replied.

Rain Dropped Down From The Sky Thursday

Hi gang! No thunderboomers today just an dreary and light rain all day. No sun came out today- We all in store for an wonderful weather weekend though. I am still sneezing a bit but I am MUCH MUCH better than last week. My neck was really killing me. Marie thank you for adding me to your yahoo 360 page. Nikki and Tiana – I am waiting for you to answer my invites. Not much excitement today. I just got done reading an email from my father and he is improving. Thinks that he should have went to the hospital. I watched the new episode of “Smallville” tonight and took an hot bath also. I guess I’m getting boring in my old age! LOL!!! I started an wordpress page there which is http://karen777.wordpress.com/. Come visit me because I am now crossposting there in case Yahoo goes bye bye. See ya Friday huh?

Minnesota Ghost

This happened about a month ago just outside of Willmar, a little town in the back country of Minnesota, and while it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it’s real.

This out-of-state traveler was on the side of the road, hitchhiking on a real dark night in the middle of a thunderstorm. Time passed slowly and no cars went by. It was raining so hard he could hardly see his hand in front of his face. Suddenly he saw a car moving slowly, approaching and appearing ghostlike in the rain. It slowly and silently crept toward him and stopped.

Wanting a ride real bad the guy jumped in the car and closed the door; only then did he realize that there was nobody behind the wheel, and no sound of an engine to be heard over the rain.

Again the car crept slowly forward and the guy was terrified, too scared to think of jumping out and running. The guy saw that the car was approaching a sharp curve and, still too scared to jump out, he started to pray and began begging for his life; he was sure the ghost car would go off the road and into a nearby lake and he would drown!

But just before the curve, a shadowy figure appeared at the driver’s window and a hand reached in and turned the steering wheel, guiding the car safely around the bend. Then, just as silently, the hand disappeared through the window and the hitchhiker was alone again!

Paralyzed with fear, the guy watched the hand reappear every time they reached a curve. Finally the guy, scared to near death, had all he could take and jumped out of the car and ran and ran, into town, into Willmar.

Wet and in shock, he went into a bar and voice quavering, ordered two shots of whiskey, then told everybody about his supernatural experience. A silence enveloped and everybody got goose bumps when they realized the guy was telling the truth (and was not just some drunk).

About half an hour later two guys walked into the bar and one says to the other, “Look Ole, ders dat idiot that rode in our car when we wuz pushin it in the rain.”

 

I Fell In An Hole Weds

No not literally gang! The day just feels like I did. I swear this has been the slowest day for me in an long time. I took Miss Penny for an walk and we stopped by to see Janice and the economy has affected her big time this time in an negative way. Her husband finally got an job and has been working 2 days now. I finished scraping the back shed this morning. I think it took me 45 minutes or something like that. Janice told me that she has another grandbaby. This one is an boy by her husband’s son. She was at the hospital last night. She was also telling me how 2 cats were going at one another in her yard and she picked one up and it scratched her in the hand. Specificially 1 of the veins in her hand so she bled a lot. The funny part was it wasnt her cat because he was hiding behind the couch. Anyways talk at ya Thursday!

Making Cents of Football

Cletus took Maynard to his first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s Bench. After the game, Cletus asked Maynard how he liked the experience.

“Oh, I really liked it,” he replied, “but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.”

Dumbfounded, Cletus asked, “What do you mean?”

“Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: ‘Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!’ I mean, come on… it’s only twenty-five cents!”